Marriage Jokes

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman: Yeh post office hai, police station nahi.
Man: Kya karu? Kahan jau? Khushi k maare kuchh samajh me nahi aa raha.

Meaning of Marriage for a woman: Sacrificing admiration of many men for the criticism of one man!

Mummy: Beta kyun ro rahe ho?
Beta: Papa ne mujhe kissi nahi di.
Mummy: Beta, aap ne papa ko tables nahi sunaye honge.
Beta: Kaam wali ko kaun se tables aate hein.

Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
Wife: Woh Kya?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi!

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either ur money or life… The wives want both!

A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.

A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I’m already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye Car tumhari nahi.

Men who don’t understand women at all, by & large, fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Excellence is an option that is renewable.

Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I’m in a gud mood, it turns Green & when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!

Difference between GF & Wife?
GF-Beauty, Wf-Duty
GF-Pension, Wf- Tension,
GF-Yummy, Wf-Vehmi,
GF-Cool, Wf-Fool,
GF-Tutti-Fruity, Wf-Kismat Futi
GF-Fresh Cake, Wf-Earthquake

Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!

Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He’s now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.

True friends stand behind u during ur bad times. Do u want a proof? Check out your marriage album. U’ll find that all ur friends standing behind U.

Two men r talking.
1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!

A man’s silence can break a woman’s heart into a thousand pieces while a woman’s silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!

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One Response to “Marriage Jokes”

  1. vivekkokare says:

    A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I’m already married.
    Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye Car tumhari nahi.

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