CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY OWN INVENTION ON THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD.
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later.